Po-Po

I lost a friend today. :( Napoleon Bonaparte Betancourt, aka "popo" my canine companion was taken away, and I have to admit, I am a little broken up about it. No more cold wet snouts nudging me, no more aggressive eyes judging me, no more karate chops chopping me, no more knocking me down when chasing a stupid rat dog in a sweater (seriously people, dog clothes are not cute, they already have fur!! hello, the clothes serve no purpose!) no more popo cries when he doesnt get his way, no more squeeks from his squeeky toy, and most of all, no more popo hair covering my entire apartment. He has gone on to a better place, Longview to be exact. Here he can roam free. No more dead beat dad either (my roomate anthony) who I blame for all of this. I am a big dog person and was spoiled with a dog for six months, and now he's gone, and my heart (which is already broken for other reasons) is broken yet again. Po-po, you will be missed my furry friend, and you will never be forgotten.

the future MS. Crazy Cat/Dog lady

"this is my crazy cat lady starter kit"










Still single and not so ready to mingle! I noticed the other night that there is a growing epidemic that is sweeping the nation. It is very dangerous and people should be scared. VERY YOUNG PEOPLE ARE GETTING ENGAGED/MARRIED/HAVING BABIES! (screams) (more screams) (yet more screams) **Disclaimer to all my friends who are one or more of the items above, I love you all and good for you! :) ** Keep in mind this is my opinion, so if you don't agree, im sorry. I am 22 years of age (cringe) Now in my puny head I feel old, but in the grand scheme of things, im still a baby. I still have alot to do, see the world for instance. Im sure said people who are engaged/married/baby making machines would say "mollie you're just jealous because you havent found anyone yet." Or, "Mollie honey, your day will come when Prince charming walks into your life, sweeps you off your feet, and you ride off into the sunset." One, no, not so jealous. I will admit, sometimes I do not enjoy being single, for example, on cold winter nights when I could really use a cuddle buddy, or someone to pay for my dinner every now and then because im really poor, or someone to hold my hand when im walking (it really helps in the not falling down so much) and lets not forget the day which haunts my dreams, V day. But let me say I have never been, nor will ever be one of those annoying girls who HAS to have a man giving them attention ALL THE TIME. Those sad little girls who is dependent on men, constantly with a man because they are terrified of being alone, too insecure to be alone. Thank god I am not one of those girls. I pride myself on being very independent. I have already come to terms with the fact that there may not be someone out there for me. This is ok, i mean that idea kind of sucks, I would like to have "a lobster" but if it doesnt happen for me, Im not going to cry about it like a little biatch. I will just pull a Sheryl Crow and adopt a cute little baby and call it a day. And I think I have figured out why I am single.

1) I am NOT a girly girl- I love football, beer, raunchy funny movies, gorey action movies, and food that is VERY bad for me.

2) Im NOT needy- Guys claim they hate needy girls, but they really love them. the girl that calls them constantly "honey bear, sweety pie, what are you doing, who are you with, what are you wearing, when are you coming over, i miss you, wah wah wah." See thats just too much work for me. Being the hermit I am, i dont mind being by myself, in fact, i really enjoy it. So if you want to hang out with your friends, knock yourself out. dont call me for a couple days, awesome, my phone bill is cheaper because of you. This freaks guys out, because they are so used to crazy ass stage five clingers, the moment they are with a girl who doesnt bug them, their little brains go crazy.


3) No history of crazy jealously rages turning into murdering rampage- Yeah, im really not jealous. I just don't have time for that nonsense. I too can appreciate a beautiful woman without being a lesbian or bi, men still have eyes, they're going to look regardless of how much their girlfriends whine about it. I have male friends, so why should I be upset if my boyfriend has female friends? I don't have the time or the energy to quiz a man where he has been, who has been with, and so on. Again, guys will say the complete opposite, but they love drama, and especially girls who bring plenty of it.



4) Im not a whore, nor do I dress like one- Im sorry fellas, I know morals are "so last year" but I refuse to give mine up just so I can "bag a man." I am a good girl, I am no saint, but I am also no hooch. I would actually like to know a mans last name, maybe a little about him like his favorite color, where he's from, if he likes ice cream, for these are all important things to know before you do "the humpty dance". Oh yeah, and most importantly, the results from an STD test, because I would like to stay free of all STDS thankyou. And I also refuse to dress like a hooch (super short skirt with no undies underneath, or super short shorts that might as well be undies, or a skanky shirt, you get the point) Because thats just plain NASTY and noone needs to see that. And lets face it, guys are horny, and the saying is true "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." well "why look for a good girl when you can get plenty of skank ass ho's for free."

5) I talk...too much- So anyone that knows me has probably caught on by now that I am VERY sarcastic, sometimes too much. I am usually never serious, I love joking around, and sarcasm is also a love of mine. I am very oppinionated, I tend to say what's on my mind, without censorship. I cuss like a sailor and can be very vulgar at times. I have sadly almost always been like this (I blame the parentals) and again am ok with it, because this is who I am. Guys have always been very confused by my sarcasm, I guess theres a language barrier between man and wit...

um...im sure im missing some other key elements....

Bottom line, I refuse to feel bad or lame or like Im behind because Im not prego or engaged or married. I have no desire to be tied down right now, and just because im single now doesnt mean im destined for soletude, that my life will turn into some sad character in a tennessee williams play, or a younger version of sex in the city, minus the sex as explained by reason #4. Lets not forget, I AM 22!!! I have a huge life ahead of me, with plenty of spare time to settle down if I find the right lad to handle the task at hand. And if I do become the crazy cat/dog lady (because im more of a dog person) I will be the happiest damn crazy cat/dog lady you ever saw! (especially if amber is one with me) :) so a word of advice.

• To my tied down friends/family- HaHa! you're tied down and im not! im free as a bird! ;)
• To ALL MY SINGLE LADIES (and lads)- I hope that you will someday find your lobster (not any time soon though, because we are TOO YOUNG) , if not, I am currently accepting applications for my Crazy Cat/Dog Lady/Lad sidekick.

Breakfast @ Tiffanys anyone?

Create your own FACEinHOLE


This was just too fun I couldn't help myself. :)