Mollieology

So I desperately need a break from studying, but the good ol' rusty brain is too fried to come up with something original, so here is a silly quiz i would normally never do.

***********TECHNOLOGY***************
How many televisions are in your house?4
what color cell phone do you have?Red
***************BIOLOGY******************
Are you right-handed or left-handed?Right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body?other than my soul...no
What is the last heavy item you lifted?alot of water, i am a muscle woman!!
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?Nope
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?Yes, I think it would be liberating to know how much time you had left, so you could do all the things that really matter in your life and spend time with the people you love.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?Gertrude. ;) I like my name, it's old school. Who doesnt love little richard jokes? :(
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?I would do ALOT of things for $1000 :)
************DUMBOLOGY******************
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?3, me and flipflops dont get along, they like to make me fall.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops?hmm a couple years ago when some popos thought I was a drug lord. good times.
Last person you talked to?my seester, it was not a pleasant conversation
Last person you hugged?Rafa, he's a hugger like me. :)
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
Season?Spring, no longer summer since i go to school all four season! :(
Holiday? You can't make me choose between xmas and turkey day!
Day of the week?Saturday
Month?March. :)
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
Missing someone?Yes
Mood?not enjoying the massive migraine that is going strong with a vengeance & stressed about a midterm on friday.
What are you listening to?Bob Marley
Watching?duke attack my feet
Worrying about?ashley, my future living situation, my midterm. my head. ***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
First place you went this morning?el bano
What's the last movie you saw?Slumdog millionare (when i couldnt get into watchmen, tear...tear)
Do you smile often?Oh yes, smiling's my favorite! :)
Sleeping Alone Tonight?Oh yeah, huge bed all to myself, awesome!
***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************
1)Do you always answer your phone?Nope. :)
2) Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?Someone who no longer wants to be my friend. :)
3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?Im actually a fan my eyes, they're unique.
4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?cherry.
5)Do you own a digital camera?Yes, although its getting kind of old.
6)Have you ever had a pet fish?Yes, and my dog would always find a way to eat them. :( i still want a cute puffy faced goldfish for some reason.
7) Favorite Christmas song(s) All I want for Christmas is You, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Grandma Got Runover by a reindeer, Little Saint Nick, Christmas baby please come home, blue christmas, the list could go on and on and on. i love it!
8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?Um lets see, Vegas, a hunkasauraus rex, $, ashley to get better so she can celebrate with me....
9) Can you do push ups?oh yeah
10) Can you do a chin up? oh yeah
11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?umm excited?
12) Do you have any saved texts?Nope, try not to text.
13) Ever been in a car wreck?Yes, fortunately all have been fender benders. poor poor sex on wheels, you are missed. :(
14) Do you have an accent?When I feel adventurous :)
15) What is the last song to make you cry?My immortal, makes me weep everytime.
16) Plans tonight?A hot date with America, Past and Present (8th edition)
17)Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?Oh yeah
18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday.nothing! i was a good girl
19) Have you ever been given roses?Yes, only by the parentals though.
20) Current worry?Ashley
21) Current hate right now?When people are alone yet take up MASSIVE tables to study, frusterates me.
22) Met someone who changed your life?Yes
23) How will you bring in the New Year?probably in my usual nerdy, antisocial way, i was social this past year though and am quite proud of myself!
24) What song represents you?Bad Girl by the amazing Danity Kane. :) probably white and nerdy though. :)
25) Name three people who might complete this?nobody!
26) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?Yes
27) Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?uhhh, next question? :)
28) Do you have any tattoos/piercings?Nada! how boring am I!?
29) Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?Im not nostradamas
31) Would you be a pirate?Hells yeah!! oh man life would be awesome, especially if I were on Jack Sparrow and William Turners crew. oooh lala!
32)What songs do you sing in the shower?I don't discriminate, whatever shows up on the good ol' poddy!
33) Ever had someone sing to you?Oh yeah. always a blasty blast!
34) When did you last cry?hmm saturday? i had to lock it up.
36) Do you like to cuddle?Um, it is only my favorite pastime!
37)Have you held hands with anyone today?no...weird.
38) Who was the last person you took a picture of?holy moley.... new years maybe? :/
39)What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?whatever my parents listened to. I was such a follower.
40) Do you believe in staying close with your ex?next question please. :)
41) Are most of the friends in your life new or old?Old, but I have a couple new awesome friends
42)Do you like pulpy orange juice?clumps in liquid=bad news bears
43)What is something your friends make fun of you for?being a goober, having alzheimers, my uncanny ability to not walk in a straight line and to fall/ trip on flat surfaces.
44)Do you have a crush on someone/ want to be in a relationship with someone? Yes, Robert Pattinson, if you read this, I love you and we are made for eachother, come and get me big boy! :)

Gracias!!

Ok so with everything going on lately, I have really put my life in perspective. I mean, thankfully I have always kind of had things in perspective, when you are told since you are born that you will never walk and that you will be mentally challenged your whole life, and then you do walk (like a penguin and fall down ALOT but hey its somethin) and you go to normal schools all your life and are in college (for 500 years but hey, its somethin) and yeah I may be a little goofy and blonde and dumb at times, but hey, what are ya gonna do? So honestly pity parties have never been my thing,because someone in the world will always have it worse than me, so who am I to bitch and cry because I broke a nail. But I am human and sometimes, well alot things dont go the way I hoped they would go, and it makes me a little sad. Like not doing so well on an exam, or the fact that im still in college (at least im going haters!) or realizing that I have $20 in the good ol' bank account, or not seeing some friends as much as I would like to because Im silly and am not a fan of certain people (silly i know) or just letting a certain someone walk away without telling them how I feel because I may talk big but inside im a big chicken shit scared of rejection like everyone else, or losing touch with good friends because i hate making plans, so they assume i dont like them and move on. Simply life is too short to worry about petty things or not be with the people who you love and make you happy. Why this heart to heart? Well this week I saw three people I love oh oh so much and havent seen in a long time. 1st one of my besties jill, who I havent seen since october or november, which is a long time when you live 10 minutes apart. We have so much fun together and I love her to pieces and I finally got to play with her last night and was soo happy! Then tonight I saw one of best guy friends (silly since we hardly ever talk anymore, but when we do its like we never lost touch) jonny for his bday, and made my other bestie (oh god i sound like an annoying pre-teen) amber who makes my heart go pitter patter come with me so I could see her as well. Oh yeah and last week I saw one of my other guy bff's (i really hate saying that, its like one of those dirty anatomy words to me) matt. so thats four! its a record! I have turned into quite the hermit for financial and personal reasons, so this is big for me! wow im rambling, here are all the things im thankful for (purpose of the blog)

1) being able to walk and NOT being mentally challenged. :)

2) having a job (i know i always diss it but its money and its easy and i can pretty much do whatever i want, and im good at it.)

3) my awesome family, especially the madre, i dont know what i would do without her, and my seester, even though we dont see eye to eye most of the time, i know she would do anything for me, and vice versa. shes the only seester i got man! And that I got to have courtney bless my life for 18 years.

4) my amazing friends. ashley for never being too cool for school and for being such a tough cookie, she also thinks it cool to me a grandma, as do I. :) Amber for being so much darn fun! there's never a dull moment with her. Also every time we see eachother it seems like all we do is talk talk talk, there's always so much to catch up on! Jilly for allowing me to be my dorkiest, and still be my friend. :) Clint who I opened up to quicker than anyone i've ever known, he doesnt bs me and is one of the only people i can just sit with and not have to talk. Anthony, when im around him i laugh...alot. Johnny mac for always being a sweetheart. And I can't forget matt who has taken care of me since highschool, he has always been a great friend.

So kiddies, my lesson of the day is be thankful for what and who you have in your life and try not to bitch about what you don't have. Also let these people know you love them every chance you get, because life is a short and crazy biatch and you never know where it will take you or the ones you love most. There's my sermon for the day, time to soak my dentures and watch murder she wrote, goodnight!

(who am i kidding, amber i know you're the only one who reads this, so goodnight to you my dear! )

Drive-by/lesson of the day

Oh man, so I like to joke around with friends and family that I live in "the ghetto." I live off of riverside, and although this area is not prime real-estate, for the price im paying I have a very nice place. And although sometimes I feel like I am in another country when I drive down riverside, I at least know there are other scared college kids like me, at least I am not alone. Well, after Sunday I really can say I live in the ghetto. I was driving back to my apartment after a fun day at home with my family, (so of course my car was full of treats the momma made me, and I wonder why I am not losing more weight) :) If anyone lives or has ever driven in Austin, the traffic SUCKS. Sadly the engineer who designed the whole highway system is a woman, wah wah wahhh, so every chance they get a man says, "well thats what ya get for letting a damn woman do something." Well, before I start ranting on mens ideals of women.... So the traffic on I35 was horrible, so I took my typical detour, east stassney. Now this road is no westlake hills, but it's not east compton either. So here I am driving and rocking out to my poddy (ipod) and I notice ahead some retards swerving in and out of lanes, cutting people off. I just rolled my eyes and kept on jamming (old school madonna rocks my world) I stop at a red light, as it turns green and I accelerate, one of the retard cars jerks in front of me, I had to slam on the breaks (and I was in my mommas bug car, so the breaks are needlessly touchy) to not rear-end him. Well then my road rage kicked in, which honestly was not as bad as I usually am, all I did was honk instead of my usual arsenal of my favorite finger, hands in the air, and cursing at him like he can hear through glass. Well then he stomped on the breaks yet again, and one of his friends in the back rolled down the window, pulled their upper body out and pointed a lovely gun at me, then pretended to shoot. Now most scared little white momma's girls would have pissed their pants, thankgod I did not have that urge. :) Maybe I should work on that road rage.... So lesson of the day kiddies, when driving in the ghetto, do not honk your horn at cars, because they will probably shoot you. :)

Another day in the ghetto, another adventure!

creepy mccreeperson magnet

I, Mollie Hammer, am a creeper magnet. Let me explain:

Today at work, while drowning in the sea of vday loveliness that was in the office (Im trying to be positive about it this year, instead of the bitter old hag I have been the last couple years) a certain creeper stalker that shall remain nameless came into the office, like he does every time I work (somehow he knows my work schedule) came in leaned over on the desk I was working at and said so seductively (NOT) "hey gorgeous, who's your valentine." Well, seeing as how today was a very busy day, and I was very busy WORKING, I didnt even look up from my computer and said extremely sarcastically, "well this year I literally have to fight men off with a stick, so see all these flowers, yeah, they're all for me, fellas LOVE ME." Now a normal sane person would have laughed, but not creepy mccreeperson, he shoots a jealous glare and quickly glances at all the flowers, as if he were trying to figure out names of who to chop up in a bathtub first. "Joking" I replied dryly. A flood of relief flows over his face "Oh, 'annoying hyena laugh' man mollie, you crack me up.'' I could see he wasn't getting the hint. "So what can I do for you creeper" (I didnt call him creeper fyi, im not THAT mean.) He then does what he always does, asks if we have any make believe packages for him from his make believe friends, I reply with my usual answer, no. I then noticed we are the only two people in the office, and fear immediately takes over. I am a worst case scenario kind of girl, and sometimes I feel like my life could turn into a horror movie, or one of those lifetime movies gone wrong, so all I saw were images of me tied up in his apartment, or in the trunk of his car, or worse. Now let me pump the brakes. I am a nice girl, I am nice to people, I am no snob. I don't mind if weirdos like me, I usually just take it as a compliment and accept it. (i've discovered I am a creeper magnet) But this guy takes the cake. He kept staring at me like he wanted me to say something, his unibrow moving up and down like he's seducing me, waiting for me to rip off my clothes, jump on the table and say, "CREEPER, TAKE ME NOW!'' . I then offered him some valentines treats (an event we were having today) He said, "Im looking at my treat." OK hannibal lector im not edible!! I awkwardly laugh and say, "well, I have alot to do today, better get back to work!'' Then I was saved by overly excited freshman coming in for a tour, hello wakeup call fishies, this is riverside, the GHETTO, why so excited? He looked annoyed, then curtsied like a Irish school girl, said "my lady" (yeah, he does that) and walked out. So I ask, why am I such a creeper magnet? I mean, Im a nice girl, and although im no Angelina Jolie, im not fugly either. I've got personality, so why I ask do I continually attract crazies who probably want to wear my skin as a dress. I mean, I don't think im shooting for the stars here. So here is a potential mate application check list im developing which hopefully should weed out the creeper elite.

Application to date me

(Check yes or no)

1. 
   
   Are you, or have you ever been a creeper?


2. 
   
   Do you fantasize about wearing my skin?


3. 
   
   Would you ever kill me?


4. 
   
   Would you ever kill any other man that looks at me?


5. 
   
   Do you have a shrine of me in your closet?


6. 
   
   Do you have a photoalbum of our future children

(If you checked yes to any of the above, im calling the popo's)

(If you checked no to all the above, give me a call, I would like to believe that not all sane men are extinct.) :)

Strength

So I can't sleep, got too much going on in my head. I found out some no bueno news this weekend, one of my best friends in the whole wide world (the other being her twin) is very sick, and I am very worried about her. Anyone that knows me knows I am extremely maternal, I love taking care of people. I also would do anything for the people that I love, and knowing that I can't do anything to help her get better kills me. I am scared shitless, and she has morphed into superwoman. This certified my belief that she is awesome. She has just found out the scariest news she will probably ever hear in her life, and she is just so strong and so calm about the whole thing. If I were in her shoes I would be crouched in the fetal position crying like a little baby (mainly because I simply do not like needles, and they hate me right back, because they are sadists.) She should be the one being comforted and put at ease, but the whole time I was in the hospital she was doing the comforting. This to me is simply amazing, and again reinforces my idea that she is a BAMF. This brings me to a question, why do bad things happen to good people? She is an amazing person, has an amazing family, the whole nine yards, yet something like this happens to her. I love her to pieces and do not know what I would do if anything happened to her. I try to believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes that fact is hard to swallow. I guess all I can do is do what I do best, make her giggle. I don't know what good that will do, but I hope it helps a little. She is the strongest person I know, and I know if anyone can conquer the bitch thats hurting her, she can. So my title for this entry is for my bestie, because after the word in the dictionary there should be a (see Ashley) definition.

p.s. she is going to make leukemia her little bitch (I apologize for the cursing)